A Dog’s World Plotted Out

In All About Me, Shelley and Zoey, Shelley Widhalm on April 22, 2012 at 11:30 am

Zoey the dachshund believes that all story plots should be centered around her.

In a dog’s world, there may be such a thing as subplots, but, for me, it’s all about the main plot.

The main plot is what happens to and around me, particularly when it concerns food, going on walks, playtime and treats.

As the cutest dachshund in the world, I hook readers with the fact that I am cute and in how I express myself.

Bark! Woof! Wow!

When I encounter big dogs and cats, I bark extra loud to tell them to find their own story. They are not allowed to play any part in my plot, even though they are minor characters, so minor in fact that I can’t see or hear them.

MEOW! Hey cat, get out of my story.

Oh, I see a big Dalmatian while I’m on my walk. BAARRKK!

He just looks at me.

BARK! I say.

Is he seriously shaking his head, as if I’m some 9.5-pound little dog?

I am so, so insulted. BARK! I have the bark of a big dog, I let Mr. Dalmatian with his way too many spots know.

It is so unfair, I think, as I stick my nose in the air and continue on my walk through downtown, owning my world. I love it when people (i.e. minor characters) stop and ask to pet me. They are begging to have a chance to enter my world, and I let them, but only temporarily, as I roll on my back with the “pet me, please” tail-wag.

After about five or six petting sessions with various minor characters, I return home for some treats. My favorites are rawhides, milk bones and miniature cowboy steaks.

To sum up, this is the plot of my day: get up, pout when Shelley, my pet parent, goes to work, nap and bark at noises, run in joy circles when Shelley comes back, go on a walk with Shelley, play with Shelley and say goodnight.

Goodnight. I guess that means The end.

  1. I love the line “” I let Mr. Dalmatian with his way too many spots know.” I think Greg has a new nickname now. Thanks 🙂

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