Zoey

A Dog’s Form of Writer’s Block

In All About Me, Dog communication, Shelley Widhalm on June 17, 2012 at 11:30 am

I should be allowed to eat ice cream and not put on a stupid diet!!!!

I don’t get writer’s blog. I get doggie block.

What I mean is that even though I am the cutest dachshund this side of the Mississippi, I don’t always get my way. To block out the pain from this fact, I head under the bed. It has a nice bed skirt that hides me from the rest of the world.

In my under-bed resting spot, I have a ball, a toy and some milk bones, plus a nice cool hardwood floor.

The reasons for going into doggie block are many, including:

  • I’m being ignored.
  • No one is playing with me.
  • I heard the word “bath,” or someone thought the word and I got the message. Or I heard the shower or the sink turn on, emitting water that is used in baths.
  • I need attention.
  • I am not getting what I want from the day.
  • The treat dispenser isn’t working.

I went to the vet last Monday (I was forced to go), and was weighed. Shelley, my pet parent, freaked out because I gained .7 pounds and now weigh 10.2 pounds. And to think that she’s worried about losing 15 pounds, which is way, way more than my weight!

“Are you serious?” Shelley asked the vet tech, trying to get a closer look at the number as I tried to wiggle away. “I’m putting her on a diet.”
I overheard details of this so-called diet when the vet stuck needles into me, telling me what a good girl I was being (I know, I know).

Shelley asked for advice, and this is what we learned:

  • Cut back or eliminate human food (what about cheese?)
  • Cut back on doggie treats (um, excuse me, but what are you talking about!!!)
  • Use carrots and canned green beans for treats (I like that idea).
  • Exercise (I go on walks, but I guess that just isn’t good enough).

I think that given the diet and exercise plan that I’ll stay under the bed for the rest of my life. Well, until I’m hungry.

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  1. “the treat dispenser” isn’t working?!?!

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