Archive for July, 2012|Monthly archive page

Paws-ing on the Middle Place

In All About Me, Shelley and Zoey, Shelley Widhalm on July 29, 2012 at 10:12 pm

Zoey is contemplating the meaning of the middle.

I am all about middles – I am the center of attention, of course, as the cutest dachshund ever.

I like to be in the middle of things, in the middle of a crowd with everyone wanting to pet me and in the middle of luxuriating in the sun, a roll in the grass or a good, long dig in the dirt.

There are so many middles that I like, it’s hard to name them all.

Don’t laugh and say, “You’re a dachshund and it’s hard to find your middle, because you are so-o long.”

I don’t think that’s very funny.

I weigh 10 pounds, so five is my middle, not half my length.

You’ve got to figure in, too, that I’m really, extremely cute, so whether I’m long or not does not matter, not at all.

Here are some other middles I like:

  • What’s inside Oreo cookies.
  • What’s inside my treat boxes and bags.
  • What’s inside the mailbox that I can rip apart.
  • The halfway point of walks when I can pretend I’m tired and get carried, so that I can ride tall and proud.
  • The point when a couple of people pet me and more join them, everybody saying how cute I am.
  • When I’m playing tug-of-war and I’m winning.
  • When the ball is thrown for fetch and I’m running toward it, my long ears flapping.
  • When I’m at the midpoint of counting the ways that I’m cute (it’s a really, really long list BTW).

Okay, okay, you say that I should stop bragging on my cuteness. I don’t think so, you silly cat. I know you’ve got to be a cat reading this, because dogs or people wouldn’t disagree.

Cats should be in the middle of two big dogs and see what they think of that.


Shhh, you bad cat! I say woof.

See Shelley’s blog, Shell’s Ink, on middles at http://bit.ly/QoX5xE

Zoey’s Take on Story Resolutions

In All About Me, Being Cute, Shelley and Zoey, Shelley Widhalm on July 22, 2012 at 11:30 am

Zoey the Cute Dachshund contemplates on how to tell a good story.

While my co-blogger, Shelley, waxes prosaic about resolutions, I have to admit that I’m not about resolving, but about being.

In her blog, “Shell’s Ink,” Shelley explains that the resolution of a story concludes all that has happened before, solving the conflicts set up earlier on. She says, “The main character has to make a decision, resolve a problem or face a new challenge in order to end her conflict. If she decides to remain with the status quo, she will suffer the consequences.”

I think not! I like the status quo, which is that I am the CEO of Cuteness, as well as the cutest dachshund this side of the Mississippi. If any dachshund, or dog (or cat!) dare counter my cuteness quotient, I will bark up a storm.

Plus, the plot of my life is very exciting, well, except when Shelley has to go to her stupid workplace and leaves me all day to entertain myself.

Otherwise, the beginning of my excitement occurs when I’m out in public and people (hordes of them) want to pet me. I get requests for pets when I’m out on walks, sitting on coffee shop tabletops or shopping at PetSmart (actually, Shelley shops and I agree to the purchases that include treats and toys, but not shampoo, new brushes and doggie toothpaste).

As for the rising action, I only encounter conflict, or more like disappointment, when I’m eagerly wagging my tail inviting pets and the potential dispenser of pets walks by without noticing me. The gall!

Of course, conflict comes about when big dogs walk by, showing off their stature, thinking they’re all tough, when I am the one with the big bark. To be nice, I couple my barks with tail wags, trying to prove my toughness, while also saying, “hi.”

I prefer that when I do bark, the big dogs just nod and say, “Yes, you are a tough girl,” and not give me the look that says, “Are you kidding? I’m not scared of you.” I find that to be a bit insulting.

Oh, woof … (and a sigh).

Because they continue on their walks and I remain in my same spot, no conflict ensues.

It’s the status quo of my living in the moment, hoping that I get pets and, if not, enjoying the sunshine, the people and the dogs walking by and the fact that I’m so darn cute!

See Shelley’s blog, “Shell’s Ink,” at http://bit.ly/Ngn89A

Zoey as Story

In All About Me, Being Cute, Shelley and Zoey, Shelley Widhalm on July 15, 2012 at 11:30 am

Zoey poses Super Dog style for the camera after walking the grass carpet.

I have yet to reach the highpoint, or climax, of my life, because I’m not living an actual story.

I am the story.

I should be in “Dog,” the fictional canine version of “People,” with images of me, along with a few other nearly as cute dogs with big personalities, plastered across the pages.
I can see it now.

I would pose in my PetSmart and Target wardrobe, glancing over my shoulder with a knowing grin on my muzzle.

I would give my readers tidbits about my exciting life, like how I’m holding a certain brand of milkbone in my mouth or how I just went to a certain canine outfitter, just like all the little dogs.

Like “Us, Weekly,” my readers would see, they’re just like us!

And the paw-parazzi would chase me with the click-click of their cameras as I stroll along my walks, snout in the air. They would run ahead and behind Shelley and me to capture my cuteness in digital images that would hit the wire, causing a tsunami of fan mail to come my way.

I already have enough fans, but if I took my popularity up a notch, I would be, you know, rich and famous. Rich in milkbones, treats and pets, and famous to that degree where everyone would want my paw-autograph.

(I hope you don’t think I’m overdoing it with the “paw” thing, but I’m fairly new to writing and very excited to write from a dog’s point-of-view.)

And now (give me a drum roll), I’ll paws in my daydreaming to tell you why there can’t be any climax in my life. It’s because in a novel, it’s that point in storytelling that’s near the end.

I’m 3 ½ years old. I’m still a young pup with lots of life ahead of me.

Dog Paws-Promotion (business cards included!)

In All About Me, Being Cute, Shelley Widhalm on July 8, 2012 at 11:30 am

Zoey awaits pets and attention while sitting atop a coffee shop table.

I am a dog that blogs, and that is pretty hip.

What is not so hip is that I’m not too keen on self-promotion. Sure, I preen and sit up extra straight in wait of pets from passersby as I stake out my spot on various coffee shop tables or restaurant patios or go on my daily walks.

But what I don’t know about is business cards, or didn’t until last week. I overheard Shelley’s friend, Katherine (who is very nice and pets me, even though she has allergies, but can you blame her?), tell her about an idea that popped into her head.

We were sitting outside of Starry Night Espresso Café in downtownFort Collinson, you guessed it, a starry Thursday night, and all these people came up to me and asked Shelley if they could say “hello” and give me a pet. I was in doggie heaven as my fan club gathered.

“You should print up business cards for Zoey,” very smart Katherine said to Shelley.

Shelley liked the idea, which included putting my photo on one side of the card and “ZOEY” in big letters on the other, followed by the name of my blog, “Zoey’s Paw.” And on the back of the card, Shelley could put her blog’s name, “Shell’s Ink,” along with her contact information.

Of course, I get front and center.

Not Shelley, who is writing about tension this week and probably would like that spot. Tension is the writer’s thing that drives a story forward and is the result of story conflict.

I would say my cuteness is what drives people to wherever I’m at to stop and admire my large, brown eyes, black-tipped, floppy ears and kohl-lined features. No conflict necessary.

You see, it’s because I’m the cutest dachshund west of theMississippi River, or actually globally. Plus, any big dogs that give me the evil eye in response to my big-dog barks should realize that I am BIG DOG in the blogosphere.

See Shelley’s blog at http://shelleywidhalm.wordpress.com/2012/07/08/more-tension-in-novels/

Six-Month Report from the CEO of Cuteness

In All About Me, Cute Dogs, Shelley Widhalm on July 1, 2012 at 11:30 am

Zoey poses as she fits in with a statue, displaying her cuteness factor.

How many dogs do you know who blog?

That’s what I thought. Zero, zilch, nada.

I am Zoey the dachshund, the cutest dog this side of theMississippi(actually worldwide, but I don’t want to seem too conceited).

It’s time for my six-month review, and as the CEO of cuteness, I must say:

  • I have not gotten enough pets, though I get plenty when I’m out on walks, sitting on coffee shop tables or shopping at PetSmart. It’s just I need to be out 100 percent of the time (except when I’m sleeping, of course, or eating, too) to get attention.
  • It’s too cold during the winter solstice and way too hot this summer solstice. I pant and need to drink lots of water. (I overheard Shelley, my pet parent, say that she may take me in for a haircut. No-o-o-o! Do not hurt my ego!!!!!)
  • Treats are the best. I get them when I go potty in my potty box. (I know that I’m not a cat, but I’m smart and I go where I’m told, at least when I’m rewarded.)
  • Working is not the best, in that it takes Shelley away for eight hours, five days a week. What am I supposed to do? Listen to noises and look out the window. B-O-R-I-N-G.
  • I remain cute, as always.

Let me reiterate, I am one cute dachshund.