Zoey the Dachshund Writes an Essay

In All About Me, Being Cute, Dog Writing, Shelley Widhalm on September 9, 2012 at 11:30 am

Zoey the Cute Dachshund is sad about being left home all day while Shelley goes off to work.

As a clever (and cute) dachshund, I’ve tried my paw at writing poetry and blogging. Now, I’m going to embark (get it? Em-bark!) on personal essays.

A personal essay represents what dogs think or feel about a topic or can express thoughts, feelings and emotions related to a personal experience. The essay is autobiographical and written in the first-person (or first-dog) point of view with a message or theme.

An essay by a dog should cover the topics we care about, such as the dispensing of treats, the need for playtime and the unfortunate lack of attention that results when our pet parents go off to work.

Here is my essay, titled, “What A Dog Thinks about the Work Week, and Why Living Freely is Preferable,” or more simply, “Being Bad to the Bone.”

Though dogs require more sleep than humans – partly because we are animals and also because we are bored – that does not mean you can go off to work and leave us all day.

Here is why? Dogs are creatures of comfort that need attention and unlike cats, depend on humans for their activities. These activities include going on walks (have you seen a dog walk itself, leash in its jaw, without an owner anywhere?), playing with our toys (it’s more fun to play in a group than alone) and eating (we can’t pour the dog food out of the sack without thumbs).

But we can bark all on our own and when you’re away, we’re barking at every little sound. We want to make sure the world knows that we’re here, ready to be rescued from our boredom.


When you go to work, what are we supposed to do? It’s not like we can read a book, or paint a picture. When we’re puppies, we have plenty to entertain us from the TP in the bathroom that’s a blast to run and unroll to the shoes perfect for chewing.

But by the time we’ve grown up, we’ve learned how to sit, lie down and obey. We don’t purposely try to be naughty, or at least I don’t.

As a result of my boredom while you’re off working doing your boring stuff, I just nap. And nap. And nap!

Eight hours of napping and barking is too much. So come home.


In conclusion, I would like to say that all dogs should be taken along to the office when their pet parents go to work, so that our lives are more interesting and productive, and so that you’re lives are better all around – because we’re there, your constant companion at your side.

  1. I agree! You should be able to go to work w/Shelley. AndI loved the ’em-bark’ pun.

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