The Overwhelming Need for Groups to Which Dogs Can Belong

In All About Me, Dog communication, Dog Writing, Finding friends, Shelley Widhalm on November 11, 2012 at 11:30 am

Please join Zoey’s dog group, so she doesn’t feel so sad. She says bow-thank-you.

I’ve searched the newspaper ads, Meetup.com and anywhere else I can think of, but there just aren’t any dog groups.

Sure, there are dog groups for owners of dogs, such as the German Shepherd Dog Club of America, the Labrador Retriever Club and the National Greyhound Association, as well as the Dachshund Club of America.

As the Cutest Dachshund this Side of the Mississippi, I would like to join the Dachshund Club of America.

But these dog clubs and associations are for people who own dogs. The dog owners want to show off how their dogs compete in agility courses, perform training tricks and compare in confirmation, or how closely an individual dog meets the ideal breed standard.

The dog owners go all crazy grooming us, even taking it so far to vacuum off our loose fur, put mascara on our graying whiskers and brush all body parts, including our teeth. This doesn’t allow us dogs to congregate and bark out a conversation; i.e. these clubs aren’t about us. They are about our owners who want us to look good for their sakes.

I would like to find a dog group that meets once a week, such as in a dog-friendly coffee shop, where we could sit at our own table and howl.

We’d have our dog-friendly cups of water and dog-licious treats to eat as we bark about politics – which for us concerns marking of territory, crossing territory boundaries and acting out of line, such as barking when the smelling of behinds is more appropriate.

We’d figure out whom to elect as president – of our group, not the country – and have a vote, counting paws. I would volunteer to serve as secretary, because I like to take notes and am quite literate, unlike some dogs that don’t blog.

And we would set an agenda about topics to discuss each week, such as issues of the neighborhood, where to find good food and how to be good for the sake of our owners, but not so good that we get bored. Being bad is part of being a dog, because we hear “bad dog” almost as much as “good dog,” or at least I do.

Shelley, my BFF, doesn’t want me to bark at the big dogs, but I do that because I’m inviting them to my new club.

It’s the Dachshund Club of Zoey’s Neighborhood.

  1. Good morning, Zoey!!! This was yr BEST post yet!! I would love to come to one of yr meetings (and very well might pretty soon, but don’t tell Shelley, I want it to be a surprise!)

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