Zoey

Archive for 2017|Yearly archive page

Dog Grammar—Or, What Errors Bug a Dog

In A Dog's Need for Attention, Cute Dachshunds, Cute Dogs on August 6, 2017 at 11:30 am

Zoey'sCoat

I get lots of attention as one of my friends readies me for a walk. See my pink coat and leash!

I’m cute, and I’m a princess, and I’m also a Dog Grammarian.

That means I like proper grammar as much as I like proper pets.

First, I’ll explain how to conduct a proper petting procedure of a cute dog. I come up to you with a tail wiggle, or I invite you to rush over to me, employing the same tactic, and I gaze at you with my big brown eyes (think Van Morrison’s “Brown-Eyed Girl”). I tell you to stop what you’re doing, reach out a hand and get down to the business of rubbing behind my ears, petting my belly and saying, “Isn’t she so cute?” Or “pretty.” Or “beautiful.”

Oh … I’m supposed to talk about grammar.

I don’t like run-on sentences, though I like to run around the yard and play tug-of-war and go on long walks, or not so long, because I get carried part of the way, and I like to be the center of attention, and I like …

I hate misplaced or misused commas. This is how commas are supposed to work: they separate thoughts and ideas, such as two complete sentences separated by the words “and” or “but.” They do not replace periods. They may or may not be used before the word “and” when a series of words are listed, but that all depends.

I don’t like missing periods at the end of a sentence Period.

I hate it when capital letters are used when the letters should be small or vice-versa, though I’m always a capital CZ for Cute Zoey.

I hate it when someone says “First,” without a “Second,” which I just did, but I was trying to explain …

I hate ellipses. I want to know what you’re thinking, not have to guess. I’m not a mind reader. I’m a dog.

I hate misspelled words or mixed-up words like “their,” “they’re” and “there” and “lie,” “lay” and “laid.” I lie down. I’m over here, not there. I’m eating my treat.

And last but not least I don’t like negative constructions. I like to be positive, or mostly. I am most certainly positive when I get treats. I am positive when I get petted. And I get extra, extra cheerful when my bowl is full of good things to eat.

Cute Dog Advice: How to Get Attention

In A Dog's Need for Attention, Center of attention, Cute Dachshunds, Cute Dogs, On Being Cute, Zoey the Cute Dachshund on July 2, 2017 at 5:30 pm

Zoey4

I am cute waiting for attention at a coffee shop.

My favorite thing in life is to be petted, and I found the best way to get what I want.

Greet people.

This is how I do it. While my BFF and sidekick Shelley does boring work on her laptop, sitting outside the coffee shop, I sit on her lap and wait. I’m a lapdog, and she’s got me the lapdog alongside her laptop (or close enough). Or, think of it as Top Dog (and a lap!).

As customers of our favorite downtown Loveland coffee shop (or Starbucks, too) walk by, I stare at them and wiggle my tail, hoping they’ll notice me. If they look my way, I smile, showing off my white, nearly-daily brushed teeth, and look some more. They usually stop, and here’s the kicker, my BFF asks those being greeted by me if they want to say hello.

Duh. Of course they do.

I let them pet me, and I sigh with happiness. They use several adjectives to describe me: cute, adorable, pretty and beautiful. They say I have a beautiful coat (sable colored) and look like a girl with my floppy, black-tipped ears and two kohl black lines extending from the edges of my large, brown eyes.

Some say I’m spoiled.

Not.

I just need treats and love and attention, just like cats and humans.

Anyway, the customers who get my special greeting go in for their coffee and often come out for a second round. On it goes, my continual revolving door of hellos. I get to give a greeting and get back a big pet and lots of love.

This greeting tactic I’ve developed is mentioned in my BFF’s newsletter, Shell’s Ink Spot, which releases the first of the month. The section where I get a big spotlight and even more attention is called Puppy News (or a puppy update on Zoey, the CEO of Cuteness). For the July issue, she wrote:

Zoey is my sidekick and occasional writing partner. I like to take my lapdog to work on my laptop, sitting outside my favorite coffee shop. She greets customers as they come in the door with a tail wag and intense stares, welcoming anyone and everyone to stop and pet her. She loves people, and she helps me be more social. I still can focus, but I get fun little breaks of people saying how cute and adorable she is, and she eats it up, seeking even more attention. People remember her name first before they recall mine, though our names go together: Shelley and Zoey, or S and Z.

If you want to receive her newsletter, send her an email at shellsinkservices@gmail.com.

 

Back to Blogging (after a long PAWS)

In Cute Dachshunds, Cute Dogs, Dog Blogger, On Being Cute on June 4, 2017 at 11:00 am

zoeynaughty

I am really cute, and I know it. I also can write!

Hi Everybody, Friends and All!

I know you’ve missed me because I’m the cutest dachshund in the world. Call me Zoey or Cute Zoey. I know I’m cute because I get told. I hear through word of mouth, and that’s how I market my identity. Cute Darling Dachshund Me!

I wasn’t blogging for awhile because my BFF Shelley started a writing and editing business, Shell’s Ink Services, and I had to help her. That’s because I’m the CEO of Cuteness. I’m going to blog once a month about how to treat and love your dog and how to do dog behavior training–not that I need any because I’m all about goodness and being good. Just look at my face. Adorable, I know.

Shelley used a photo of me in her blog this week about creating a blogging voice. I have a loud barking voice, and I bark at big dogs and trucks and wheels and things that move. I don’t bark at cats, because I love cats!

Here’s the link:

https://wordpress.com/post/shelleywidhalm.wordpress.com/1574

Dog Blogger’s Year in Review

In Cute Dachshunds, Cute Dogs, Dog Blogger on January 1, 2017 at 11:30 am

zoey-gifts1

I’m opening my Christmas presents. I’m wearing my Christmas shirt!

I am a very talented and cute dachshund named Zoey.

Nearly every week in 2016, I “sat” at the laptop (I’m a lapdog, too!) and wrote a blog about … well, mainly about me.

It’s because I like to “shake” things up as I “roll” with the flow.

Am I funny? I can do tricks and write my trick words into my post.

I’ve been blogging since 2011 about my life as a cute dachshund, sharing stories and photos to demonstrate the fact.

In 2016, I blogged about several things, including:

  • Being both a dog blogger and a canine poet able to write poems from a dog’s perspective.
  • Understanding dog behavior and what dogs need and want from their owners. I wrote about how pet owners—I call mine my BFF—need to let us know how much we mean to them, pay attention to us (like all of the time) and give us lots of treats (even healthy ones).
  • Realizing the elements of responsible pet ownership, like giving us healthy food without too many unhealthy table scraps, avoiding giving us chocolate and onions, and taking us on regular walks.
  • And, most importantly, telling really interesting stories from my own life.

I also wrote about cats, even though most of them don’t like me too much. I like cats, birds, geese and anything else in the animal kingdom, but not dogs, at least those larger than me. I bark at them, and they look at me as if I’m silly, so I bark again, while also wiggling my tail. They then ignore me.

I don’t like it, so I’ve concluded that cats are safer; they’re not keen on dogs, and I can just pretend they are.

In 2017, I may take a small break from blogging as my BFF and I figure out our blogging goals for the year. Like her, I’m not getting very many Likes, which I don’t understand, because I’m totally cute and fun and the best dog ever!