A dog’s dislike of bath time!

In Cute Dachshunds, Cute Dogs, Dog Blogger on October 23, 2016 at 11:30 am



I survived getting a bath, but I don’t like it!

My BFF Shelley gave me a bath this morning, and I felt very tortured.

I realized it’s been six weeks since I got cleaned, but still … it just isn’t fun to have water pouring on my head as I’m trying to breathe and be a dog. Add insult to injury, I also had to get my teeth brushed and my ears cleaned, and the whole process was like entering the dungeon of dachshund down under.

My name is Zoey, and I’m the cutest dachshund ever, or the cutest, cleanest dog in the world.

Shelley was sick for two days, and I stayed by her side, even waiting patiently for a walk—she skipped them the first day—and this is how she repays me? Giving me a bath? I don’t understand.

She is better now, but I’m not. I’m still mad. I’m a mad dog. Not a bad dog.

Because besides being cute, I’m good. As always.

A dog’s back story

In Cute Dachshunds, Cute Dogs, On Being Cute, Uncategorized on October 9, 2016 at 11:30 am


My BFF Shelley thinks I’m cute, obviously!

This week my BFF Shelley blogged about back story, and I thought I’d do the same but about myself.

The back story of how I became the CEO of cuteness is full of tension and excitement.

First off, I was born that way, though that’s not the entire story.

Before I get into that back story, I’ll tell you about the exciting current moment, or the now. I’m seven, but I’m told I still look young—I have bright white teeth and a cute, darling face (I’m also told this). I don’t actually look at myself in the mirror, but I hear how I’m cute, pretty, beautiful and what a face! I know, I know.

Shelley got me when I was nine weeks, and I picked her out. She wanted to hold a puppy after going through some allergy shots, and she held me. I laid my head on her chest, and she was taken. The next day she came back, and I did the same thing and found my new home.

She took me to puppy kindergarten and intermediate training, read tons of training and dog behavior books, and figured out how to be the boss of me (except I didn’t relent on the barking at the big dogs and things with wheels that go by on the sidewalk). I didn’t give her full boss-iness, either, because I established myself as CEO, and she has to accept I’m alpha when it comes to cuteness.

I demonstrate this cuteness when Shelley takes me on walks or with her to coffee shops. I sit (or stand) sentry, watching out for people who will stop and pet me and tell me what I want to hear: that I’m cute and pretty both, that I’m a good girl, that Shelley’s lucky to have me.

I tell them back, in tail wiggles and occasional kisses, I’m lucky to be with her, too. We’re a match, back then and now.


Cute dogs (like Zoey) rule

In Cute Dachshunds, Cute Dogs, On Being Cute on October 2, 2016 at 11:30 am


I am a cute princess dog.

I would describe myself as a very cute dachshund.

I’m a good girl, but I do like to bark.

Is barking bad?


Why? Because it’s how I get attention. When you tell me, “No bark,” I, in fact, think you’re encouraging me to bark. I think you’re talking back to me, not at me. I think we’re having a conversation. I bark. You say, “No bark,” and I bark again. Back and forth we go, engaging in a conversation that, to me, matters.